I’m moderately lactose-intolerant. The farther away from actual milk the dairy product is, the more of it I can eat. So I cannot drink cow’s milk but can consume some cheese. Ice cream is kinda iffy for me unless I pop a Lactaid pill while I’m eating ice cream. This means ice cream adventures can never be spontaneous for me unless I have a Lactaid in hand. Which sucks but planning ahead for a cold creamy treat also means I get this weird thrill of anticipation, like going on a first date.
Enter Haagen Dazs. I go in there maybe every three months just for their Bailey’s Shake. There’s no booze in it (too bad) but it’s my very favorite shake ever. I always get it without the whipped cream in order to avoid dulling the Bailey’s deliciousness. My relationship with the Bailey’s Shake is similar to that of friends with benefits: reliable, nonjudgmental, and delicious.
I went in to Haagen Daz for my quarterly fix a couple of days ago and was told that they’d discontinued their Bailey’s Shake. Hand to God, I stood there in numb, shocked silence while I absorbed the news. The only thing that would have shocked me more would have been the unlikely news that Sarah Palin had been given membership to Mensa. I barely registered a fellow customer’s amusement at my horror. The ice cream dude hurriedly suggested the Rum Raisin if I was looking for an alcohol-based. DUDE! Rum Raisin is NOT the same as a Bailey’s shake!
I settled for their Dulce De Leche banana something or other. It was kind of like having sex with one person while still mooning over the previous partner; it’s just not as good.
RIP Bailey’s Shake. You were my most reliable lover and I’m sad that someone drove you away. I’ll miss you.