I’m moderately lactose-intolerant.  The farther away from actual milk the dairy product is, the more of it I can eat.  So I cannot drink cow’s milk but can consume some cheese.  Ice cream is kinda iffy for me unless I pop a Lactaid pill while I’m eating ice cream.  This means ice cream adventures can never be spontaneous for me unless I have a Lactaid in hand.   Which sucks but planning ahead for a cold creamy treat also means I get this weird thrill of anticipation, like going on a first date.

Enter Haagen Dazs.  I go in there maybe every three months just for their Bailey’s Shake.  There’s no booze in it (too bad) but it’s my very favorite shake ever.  I always get it without the whipped cream in order to avoid dulling the Bailey’s deliciousness.   My relationship with the Bailey’s Shake is similar to that of friends with benefits:  reliable, nonjudgmental, and delicious.

I went in to Haagen Daz for my quarterly fix a couple of days ago and was told that they’d discontinued their Bailey’s Shake.  Hand to God, I stood there in numb, shocked silence while I absorbed the news.  The only thing that would have shocked me more would have been the unlikely news that Sarah Palin had been given membership to Mensa.  I barely registered a fellow customer’s amusement at my horror.  The ice cream dude hurriedly suggested the Rum Raisin if I was looking for an alcohol-based.  DUDE!  Rum Raisin is NOT the same as a Bailey’s shake!

I settled for their Dulce De Leche banana something or other.  It was kind of like having sex with one person while still mooning over the previous partner; it’s just not as good.

RIP Bailey’s Shake.  You were my most reliable lover and I’m sad that someone drove you away.  I’ll miss you.

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